


That Spiteful Feeling

by blurhawaii



Category: The Hangover (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-18 22:21:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3586143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blurhawaii/pseuds/blurhawaii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s Doug who spills the secret in the end.</p>
<p>Phil puts two fingers against his temple and pulls the trigger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Spiteful Feeling

**Author's Note:**

> Set during the second film.

\---

Phil is coming back from taking a piss when his phone buzzes in his pocket. As soon as he sees the candid shot of Stu glaring up from the screen he knows Stu isn’t making it tonight; which is bullshit is what it is, because it was his idea in the first place to call them all out to a bar on a fucking Tuesday night. Now he’s bailing on them.

It figures, Phil thinks, like a dental emergency is even a thing.

By the time he makes it back to their booth, Doug already has three beers lined up next to three shots and Phil breaks the news by holding up his phone and shaking his head.

“I guess it’s just you and me tonight, bud. It turns out the good doctor is too fucking busy for us.” 

Doug’s shoulders immediately drop. “Oh,” he says and the excited energy he’s been carrying all night leaves him in an instant. “That’s a shame. I was looking forward to a little celebration.”

Phil reaches for the shot that’s now going begging and knocks it back. “What the hell would we be celebrating?” he asks. “The week’s not even half over yet.”

“Come on, Phil. It’s not every day one of your best friends gets engaged.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

It really doesn’t connect at first. Stupidly, Phil actually thinks Alan before he thinks Stu because the very idea that Stu could keep something from him as huge as his engagement just doesn’t compute. Only when Doug starts to panic, looking guilty as hell, does it really sink in.

“Stu and Lauren, they’re getting married…and he didn’t tell you yet, did he?”

A second shot finds its way into Phil’s hand and he swallows it down instead of answering. Through the burn he searches for words, throwing away several starts that sound dick-ish even for him, until the clawing in his chest settles on her.

“What do we even know about this woman anyway? For all we know, she could be worse than Melissa.”

“Phil,” Doug says in a warning tone, and it doesn’t make any sense that Doug chooses to hang around with a couple of assholes because he’s the nicest guy Phil has ever met, all the way to his core. Case in point when he adds, “Lauren’s really sweet,” and it doesn’t come across as fake.

Phil rolls his eyes. “Yeah, to our faces maybe.”

“You know, after that weekend, I was worried. An experience like that could turn a guy off marriage for life but I think this will be good for him.”

The final shot is a relief, trickling down Phil’s throat. It stops him from saying something he might regret.

-

It’s Doug who spills the secret in the end.

Phil puts two fingers against his temple and pulls the trigger.

-

The receptionist knows him, probably too well, which is why she’s not willing to let him walk on through to the door labelled ‘Dr Price’ during work hours. The lines around her eyes only deepen when he holds up the bottle of Jack with a bow tied around the neck, and she’s clearly still not happy but she lets him go anyway. It might be the near desperate look in Phil’s eyes that does it.

Down the hall, Stu’s professional smile also dims once he realises who it is standing in his doorway. The smile is then replaced with a look of fear when he spots the bottle because he knows in an instant that his secret is out.

“Congratulations, Stu. I heard you joined the club.”

“Shit, Phil. Look, I was-”

Phil doesn’t let him finish. He’s not owed an apology, not really, not in the way he would like. And instead, because he’s a fucking asshole all the way down, he says, “I guess she was okay with the slightly used engagement ring.”

It works exactly how Phil intends it to and any obligation of guilt Stu might have been feeling gets stripped away, leaving only familiarity and an even ground.

“I didn’t tell her that part,” Stu admits, but they’re both aware Phil already knew that.

“Lying before you’re even married. I don’t know, man, that’s not a good start.”

“Well you’re not exactly an expert on marriage, are you?”

The thing is, Phil knows why he’s angry, he’s known since they were teenagers who would pass a single bottle of beer between them instead of opening a second. What he doesn’t understand is why Stu is being so sharp to him in return.

Phil holds his hands up in surrender, bringing attention back to the square bottle that’s still in his fist and it’s a bad move because it makes him look like the bigger man instead of the jealous jerk that he really is. He places the bottle down on the counter and removes himself from it completely; it was a spiteful gift when he bought it, Stu must be able to see that.

He goes to lean against the arm of the chair and his ass brushes the tray of instruments that Stu is going to have to sterilize once again.

“You could have told me, you know?”

“Yeah, because you reacted so well the last time.” Stu fiddles with the ribbon as he talks. One touch and the bow withers under his fingers. Phil tries not to notice.

“With who? Melissa? You were making a huge fucking mistake there. You can’t hold that against me. Or are you talking about Jade, the stripper you married in Vegas?”

“Lauren’s different. She’s actually nice. And she doesn’t sleep with people for money.” Stu pauses here and he’s steeling himself up for something bigger. “She wants to get married in Thailand,” he says at last, finally looking Phil in the eye.

“Jesus fucking Christ.”

“And we both want you all to be there.”

There’s a stalemate while Stu fidgets on his stool, trying so hard to be strong, and Phil stares right through the poster of a kid grinning happily despite missing a tooth, front and centre.

“Things are finally going right for me, Phil.” Don’t let me fuck this up, he doesn’t say but Phil hears it nonetheless.

And there’s not a lot Phil can say to that, so he reaches forward to squeeze the juncture of skin between Stu’s neck and shoulder and says, “Whatever, buddy. I’ll be there. You know that.”

He smiles but, inside, he knows he’s a coward.

-

Days before they’re scheduled to fly, Phil finds himself back in that room, making it as far as the chair this time. Stu’s fingers are in his mouth and Phil’s dick stirs but doesn’t take the bait.

And while he may talk a lot of shit, Phil is not a hypocrite. He loves his wife without question. He just also knows, for a fact, that it’s possible to be in love with two people at the same time.

“You’re really happy, huh?” he asks, and gets the answer he both wants and hates.

“I really am.”

It’s the only thing that’s going to get him through this wedding.

-

Surprise, surprise, it’s Alan who fucks everything up. Again. And then lies about it. Again.

A part of Phil, the still bitter part, thinks that this is what happens when Stu doesn’t tell him the truth. Then he remembers Teddy and feels petty.

Anyway, the night is a blur.

He wishes the next day and a half were too.

-

“I have a demon in me.”

Stu is so deathly serious it doesn’t even occur to Phil that the appropriate reaction to that is actually laughter. He’s too busy wondering what that means for him. Because what’s worse, having a demon in you, brought out by heavy drinking and bad decisions, or being the person who is knowingly in love with them, despite it all.

It’s not until after Stu uses that big fucking brain of his to find Teddy that Phil recalls the last time they were in this position, driving all the way back to where they started. Stu isn’t singing some nonsense song, or drumming the beat out on the dash, but the flood of affection for him is still there and going strong.

“So what?” Phil had said, and he really meant it. If it brings them moments like this, who cares?

-

Lauren hates the tattoo.

That spite surges again in Phil when she makes them switch sides, drawing Stu further away and placing herself in between them.

Phil knows it will never be over when he looks at his best friend, standing at the altar, with the scars from two disastrous bachelor parties under their belts, that fucking tattoo and all, and thinks, yeah, I’d still marry him.

\---


End file.
